A great start to this blog. Just a fantastic, tasty sandwich. Lightly breaded white meat, very sweet tasting barbeque sauce, bacon, cheddar cheese and ranch dressing on grilled sourdough bread. Hold the bacon for The Kid. Here’s what it looks like:
Very filling, very messy, and did I mention very tasty? Many of you would probably say very surprising as well as Friendly’s is not exactly what most people think about when they are thinking about good food. Good frappes, yep. Big ol’ sundaes, check. A place to kill an hour waiting for a simple cheeseburger, that’s the place all right. Speaking of which, I’ve been going to Friendly’s since my parents used to take me to the one in Darien when I was 5 years old, and it’s always been like one of those places that guarantees you will have your lunch in 15 minutes or less, only the exact opposite.
Tonight I took my daughter there for a little quality time and service actually was very fast and efficient. Almost like, after 75 years, they realize people want their food quickly. Anyway we sat down, ordered our food, and started eating. And then the real fun started. The place was an absolute freak-show. Forget the little baby, 6 months old at best, with the pierced ears shrieking up a storm. And forget about the mother babbling on the phone for the entire hour we were there, while her 2-3 year old sat there eating, choking, eating, choking. The same mother who, when she finally got off the phone and started to leave, didn’t bother to help her daughter out of the booth so was unable to prevent her daughter from smashing her forehead on the table’s edge. The same mother who after offering 5 seconds of solace then chastised her still wet-eyed daughter for “always being up my ass” because the daughter bumped into her as they walked out.
Forget all that as the real shit-show was just starting right behind us. In walks a grandmother with two of her grandkids. As my daughter fills me in on her day at school I can’t help but be distracted by:
“Shut up Nanna”
“NO YOU SHUTUP!!” followed by good old Nanna pointing one of her bony fingers at grandson and saying “OR I’LL KILL YOU”
Now I shit you not, this is going on 5 feet behind my daughter’s head. The grandson looks to me about 13-14 years old, his sister looks about 10 and Nanna looks like a bad-mileage 75 minimum. For the next 5 minutes Nanna and grandson exchange insults while the girl laughs the whole time. Then their conversation turns normal, or about as normal as can be as the boy is very, very, very effeminate and extremely goofy. He also can’t sit still and is constantly bounding up to pester Nanna, poking at her food and then trying to take her picture.
“Sit down YOU LITTLE SHIT”
Repeat this same scenario 2 or 3 more times. After the 4th or 5th swear I mention to my daughter that there are some strange people in here tonight. “Why do you think I’m not turning around?” she says, wise beyond her 8 years.
Now I can’t tell for sure if Nanna is truly pissed or just joking and I go back and forth on it. When she told the kids to "get your money up before I kill you", by my count at least the 3rd death threat she uttered, I decided that at the very least she was not a very nice person. You judge for yourself as I managed to take a sneaky photo. Not the best shot I know but I have to say I was scared shitless that Nanna was going to catch me and I would get bony-fingered. Here’s the Swiss Family Disfunctional:
You tell me, does Nanna look like the joking kind?